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Question: Please tell me any du’a because my spouse and I quarrel over little matters.

Du’a in Islam is our turning to Allah for succour and assistance. It is intended to complement our own efforts and not to replace or supersede them. In other words, du’a is meaningful only when we try our utmost to keep the marriage work. Since we cannot ask Allah to help us when we ourselves do not work to save our marriage, it is important for us to consider the following in order to create harmony in our spousal relations:

1)Cultivate the habit of counting the blessings of Allah rather than dwelling on what we don’t have. The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Look always to those who are below you in status (in worldly matters) and do not look to those who are above you, for in this way you would be better prepared to appreciate Allah’s favours upon you.”

2)Keep remembrance of Allah alive; it is a truism that those who pray together live together.

3)Think of your spouse first; for no true marriage can be built without a feeling of altruism.

4)Learn to avoid the habit of countering anger with anger; for if both spouses were to get angry at once that is more like setting the house on fire. So when one of the spouses is angry, let the other learn to keep cool and do whatever it takes not to provoke the other.

5)Think of the strengths of each other instead of dwelling on the weaknesses of each other.

6)Spend quality time together doing things that both of them enjoy; for instance, going for a walk, doing chores together, etc.

7)Think solutions rather than problems. Often times, we rack our brain on focusing on problems with the result that they will continue to expand; if, on the other hand, we were to focus on solutions, and use whatever resources we have to solve them, we will be better empowered to tackle them.

Finally, here are few supplications you can read on a regular basis:

Rabbanaa hab lanaa min azwaajinaa wa dhurriyaatinaa qurrata a’yunin wa ij’alnaa li al-muttaqeena imaman
(Our Lord! Grant us joy in our spouses and children and make us a role model for the God-fearing):

Allaahumma aslih lee deenee alladhee huwa ‘ismatu amree wa aslih lee dunyaa allattee feehaa ma’aashee wa aslih lee akhiratee allattee ilayhaa ma’aadee Wa ij’al al-hayaata ziyaadatan lee fee kulli khayrin wa ij’al al-mawta raahatan lee min kulli sharrin
(O Allah! Make my religion—the mainstay of my affairs-- straight for me; make straight for me my worldly life in which I am to sojourn; make straight for me my hereafter, which is my final destination, and make my life for me an opportunity to increase all virtues; make my death for me a release from all troubles!)

Rabbanaa aatinaa fi al-ddunyaa hasanatan wa fi al-aakhirati hasanatan wa qinaa ‘adhaaba al-nnari
(Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the world to come and save us from the torments of hell-fire).

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