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Question: Shaykh me and my wife are both in distress we married online and decided to meet in coming october but a few weeks before i was mad at her and said to her i wanna this relationship just to scare her and i told her answer my call usually in such case she doesnt but she did this time which made me more mad so i told her with pause thinking this is wrong way and won't be counted i dii vvvorrr ceee you "5 times" i added last words in haste thinking of making the sentence further void cuz i had knowledge that if sentence is repeated three times then only it takes effect but later i came to know that it affects aswell which caused us to go through severe pain we never met yet she left everything for me and accepted islam went against her parents and now just cuz of my one stupid mistake which i intended something else and happened something else pls tell us what do we do we can't live without eachother wallahi i was ignorant of proper way will Allah punish me for something i had no knowledge of and end our relationship please give us your opnion in saudi many shaykhs say that it counts as one but you have to remarry her thats what i learned online from ifta.com site can i accept thier fatwa without seeking one or do i have to ask a scholar for fatwa?
Answer:
The multiple divorces pronounced at one time (or concurrently)  considered as one divorce, according to the preferred of some eminent scholars.
It was the verdict of the Prophet (peace be upon him) as authentically reported in the traditions. However, it was Caliph Umar who ruled it as triple divorce; he did so to teach a lesson that people should not treat divorce lightly.
 
Umar’s ruling became the standard view among most of the scholars, including the four schools.
 
However, some of the eminent scholars such as Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn al-Qayyim, and others have questioned the above ruling and advocated the initial verdict of the Prophet (peace be upon him). It has been preferred by many scholars today; some Muslim countries have adopted this view in reforming their family laws.  They did so to avert chaos and family breakdown since people would often resort to divorce to vent anger or impulsively without prior deliberation.
 
Having said this, I should also point out: At the heart of the issue between you and your wife is anger management. I urge you to seek professional counseling and take a course in anger management, if necessary. Otherwise, I am afraid you may use divorce as a tool of intimidation every time you lose your temper.
 
For details, please refer to the answer linked below
Ruling on Triple Divorce
http://archive.islamonline.net/?p=856
 
As for ruling on divorce in anger, you may access the answer posted here:
Pronouncing Divorce in the State of Anger
http://archive.islamonline.net/?p=6721
 
I would urge you to get counseling on anger management and reconcile with your wife: You may do this by writing down that you wish to take back your wife and get it witnessed by two people and sending it to her. Alternatively, you can also communicate this to her directly.
 
I pray to Allah to save us all from the evil inclinations inherent in our souls and help us remain steadfast on the path of rectitude.

 

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